The Believer

I was just looking for a web site that offered free Angel e-cards. My Mother passed away earlier this year, and I'll admit that it has been a struggle. Yes, it has gotten' better over the last couple of months, but there is honestly not a day that I don't think of her in many instances. My Mother was a staunch believer in Angels and according to her she had three Guardian Angels. She never named them, but at this point it doesn't matter.

My Mother had chosen to not have a traditional funeral and opted for cremation with her ashes to be placed with my Father, who had died when I was 5. Her death was relatively short(5 days) and after refusing all medical treatments she told me that she had dreamed of this for the last 40 some years. To finally be joined with her one true love. She rarely talked about my Father, except in regaliation.

You can't argue with love. I learned more about my Mother in a few days than I did in 48 years. Since her death, I, for some reason took up the Angel cause, so to speak. I NEEDED to go from an all vegetable garden to a "Memorial" garden. I blindly bought and planted what would grow in mostly shade but I had to add a concrete garden angel, to honour her. The garden itself turned out okay by novice standards but it didn't take long for even me to realize that it was more therapy for me than anthing else. I lovingly tended the garden daily, and took it personally if a plant or flower wasn't looking very well. I'd be damned if I'd let this plant down. I would save it, so to speak.

I didn't write this with a STORY in mind but it has come to me that story has been in front of me and you the whole time. Most of us children of the 20th century have learned by not only rote but by example. The example that My Mother set was a model for all of us. To do the very best that you can with what you have knowing that when all else fails, you have a guardian Angel over your shoulder. As the Christmas Season approches(my Mother hated Christmas) I find myself excited about Christmas for the first time since my children were little. And it is so refreshing.

I have decided to redo my tree with only red and gold balls and the only ornaments are angles. A small step for some, but a leap forward for someone who has also disliked Christmas for the last 20 years.

I have been reborn, who know's whats next, a Church Service maybe I greatly appreciate having this forum in order to express myself. I certainly don't expect a response but would welcome one by those that are also dealing with the loss of a parent.

I don't envision my Mother up in Heaven looking down and watching over me but I would like to think that she has finally rejoined her greatest love and needed Angels to get her there.

P.W.