I am reading a facinating book by James Hillman, The Soul's Code - In search of character and calling. The jacket says:
"When all the souls had chosen their lives, they went before Lachesis. And she sent with each, as the guardian of his life and the fulfiller of his choice, the daimon that he had chosen." Plato, Republic Book X
Its not something I would normally share with most people because I would be locked up, but I have memories that I believe are pre-natal - see what you make of this -
I am in a discussion with someone presumably male whom I cannot see - below us all is grey and I can just make out the planet.
He is asking me to choose my incarnation - I am shown about a dozen families/social potential/lessons in Western Europe.
I ask - which is the most difficult - he says - that one - then proceeds to attempt to talk me out of it - I say but this lesson from that part of a past life will get me through this bit, and experience from that life will cover this bit - and running six lessons from other existences would get me thus far etc.
The next thing I can remember is standing in a circle with others who are about to be born grey/gold monotone, we are all wearing robes, we each hold a cup and drink the cup of parting.
The next sequence, I am being wrapped in black stuff rather like windings, and these are meant to dim my sensitivities - I complain about this.
The next sequence, I am lying in my cot, I am born, about 2 years, I can remember my parents bedroom clearly and I am staring at the transfer of a lake on the inside of my cot - the waters start shimmering and moving, then I look up and there is a shimmering above my cot - there is a lady and she speaks to me.
I am not going goo-goo ga ga, I am having an intelligent conversation at a time science tells me that I should not, she is my guardian, she asks, quote,' are you sure you want to do it this way ?' - I considered, then said yes [I believe I had opted to retain a faculty to be awake - which probably could be stressful] she said 'I'll be back - see you later' at that my intelligence faded, and I was back to goo goo, ga ga.
These memories, however strange, are very special to me.
The phone woke me up early yesterday out of some churny kind of dream, and as I sat up to answer the phone, the dream stopped, and I realised that I was in deep conversation with an angel at my bedside, for I sat at the end of my bed, and my left arm was still pulled back towards my pillow - where my 'spirit' hand was still being held by the 'angel' sitting there - I remember that the conversation that I was having with this spirit was quite different from the 'dream' - as if my lower self was watching 'TV' whilst my other higher being was talking about nice and important things - unfortunately the phone kept on ringing - and I began to lose the meaning of the 'angelic' conversation as my work-a-day mind kicked in, but after the phone call, I still had this overwhelming yearning to reconnect with this incredibly beautiful and peaceful person. I go back to bed.
'My' Angel has never been far away ever in my life - and I always know that I am never alone - which is a great comfort. I always remember sometime near my twenty first birthday that I had gone to a seacliff to climb for agates, and 20 feet up I slipped and knew that I was about to fall onto the rocks below - I remember that what flashed into my mind was the frontpage of a newspaper that I had never seen before - the Dundee Courier which had the headline 'Boy 13, dies in cliff plunge' - as I started to fall, I remember thinking, but I'm not 13 .... and everything went into slow motion, the fall took an eternity during which time I twisted my body into a position which minimised the damage on the rocks below.
The time recently when my group/band journeyed to Aberdeen at high speed in the pouring rain, passing all kinds of hazards on the way North, and the steering track rod broke on the aberdeen city limits, at a layby, near a garage, phone and a toilet ... !!!
Sometimes as I close my eyes at night. I see a bright pin-prick of light rather like a star in my vision - its not after image, I rush towards that.
One morning when I was working at an out of town lab, I had missed my alarm clock, and had fallen asleep again, a physical knocking on my head woke me up.
One year I was ill, and I went 'through' to another place of trees and water, it was a waking dream or something very akin to being there, I could hear, smell and, feel the caress of her hand on my brow and see the circle of friends around me - I knew that I wanted to stay, perhaps longer, but that if I did, I would not want to go back. I have since flown across that continent like a bird, seeing everything in detail that is 'photographic' - I have seen strange sailing ships and circled them like a gull with 'another gull' at my side ... I suppose there has to be some good reason for me being here - but I suppose only God knows what it is ? :)