Huge White WingsI don't know where to begin in saying this but when someone on Tuesday of this week said that when they looked at me they often saw huge white wings from my back, running down to the floor, something clicked inside. Most of my life I have had this uncanny knack of knowing things. I knew it was God telling me even before I was old enough to know stuff like that. Of course I did the usual thing and blanked it out and it usually lead me into more trouble than you can imagine, but when I listened and did as I was told things worked out a lot better.
As an example, not that long ago, I walked into a bar where I was working and there was a group of people I had never meet, I suddenly knew the one woman was going to commit suicide, so I spent an hour talking to her (I had a very easy going boss at the time and it was before my shift!). But across the room was another woman, who I had a message for. It took me a few weeks to give her the message, as she did not return to the bar for a while, but when I saw her I walked over and there in my head was the message as clear as if I had just read it the moment before.
'This is the craziest conversation you will ever have. Is your name Julie,' asked me. Nerves rushed, I wanted to shake. But I then suddenly felt very calm. 'Yes.' 'I have a message for you. Three years ago you began working on a X and it was in the style of XYZ. Am I right?' She nodded in shock. 'How did you know this, who have you been talking to? 'I have not been talking to anyone, I was told by God.' The girls face went ashen. Your spot on! How did you know this stuff? What else do you know about me?' I smiled and sat down. 'As I said I get told stuff to tell people. I saw you a few weeks ago but I never got the chance to speak to you. That's all I know, but it is important that you finish this, it was a gift from God for you and the world.' The conversation went on and I eventually made my excuses and left. But the thing is these things happen a lot.
When I say a lot I don't mean every second of every day. But more like twice a week, sometimes less and sometimes more. How do I know stuff? Well it is as if I suddenly really know something completely (the easiest way of describing it is as if you have learnt a huge concept and forgotten it, and then suddenly a word will be said to you and the word brings to mind the whole of the concept). Or I will be lead to be somewhere at the right time to help someone (in one case a drowning man), often I will be lead from the one side of town to the other, or I will get an email address appear in my head and the message to tell (that took a lot of explaining!) With all that is happening, you would think that I would be confident, outgoing and leading a life that it is prosperous or pious. You could not be further from the truth.
I have been made redundant more imes than I can count, sacked a few times too and living by the Grace of God to pay my bills and have food to eat, and only now at 34 going to University. But God blesses me and the money just appears out of nowhere. Friends give me money. Tax refunds appear out of no where. A temp' job that pays well materialises or I literally find things. When I left school I was regarded as being semi-illiterate, I had not been diagnosed with dyslexia and I was told I was stupid. Thankfully my local church had a priest who lent me books, and talked over what I read. My Mom spoon fed me books too. The small jobs I got helped me become better at the stuff I was dreadful at doing at school. And I have been lucky enough to have worked for some amazing people and help others who needed help or encouragement.
Up until Tuesday I had worried that my life was drifting with no direction. I got worried that as a thirty-something bloke with no job and no girlfriend I was a waster. I have no car, no property, just a very long CV. But the friend saying what she genuinely saw when she looked at me made me realise that although I am nothing in the eyes of the world I am something in the eyes of God, I'm one of His angels on earth.
(Thanks for reading! All the best Gx)