Baby Brother

My brother passed away on December 30 2003. He was 20 years old. My brother and I were very close. When I got married, he moved in with me. He was there for the birth of my 2 daughters. I always called him Bubba and he called me Crys.

The day he passed away was a nightmare. I was so lost and felt so lonely. I have never had to be without him. I was worried about him. He had never been with out me. A few days after he passed, It had taken me forever to finally fall asleep, but when I did, the most amazing thing happened. I know that it was a dream, but it was so real. In my dream, me and my brother were standing in my front yard. He just walked up to me and hugged me. I had tears just streaming down my face. He looked just like he always did, his favorite jeans, favorite button up shirt and his boots and his hat. He was perfect. I kept hearing him say "I love you and I'm ok." "I love you and I'm ok and Crys, I'm sorry." Just over and over and over. We had sat down in the grass just looking at each other. And after a few minutes, we stood up, holding hands and I heard him say, "I'm going to go the best was I know how Crys, I'm going to go through you!" And he did, he just walked right through me. It was amazing.

When I woke up, I was crying . My pillow was soaked with tears. To me, my "visit" was my brother coming to take away my pain. I have 2 beautiful daughters that loved their uncle Bubba very much and my daddy who loved his "ole sweet son" very much. And God and Bubba knew that now with Bubba gone to be a beautiful angel, it was up to me to take care for my girls and my daddy. And with my pain so unbearable, I could not have taken care of them the was I should, so Bubba came and when he walked through me, he took away some of my pain. I still love and miss my baby brother dearly, but I am ok and I take care of the ones Bubba loved!!