To See Beyond

My brother died on the 10th of March 2004. He was 27. I wanted to die. How can you face such a loss, without losing yourself? I love my brother. He was tall, blonde hair, blue eyes. He was my love. I looked back into his school papers and found a small little school booklet where he used draw. A question in this booklet asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He was only 9 then. He wrote," an angel". The drawing showed an angel dressed in white, smiling, flying in the night with a half moon.

I found a poem written about 4 months ago to my mom. At the end of the poem he wrote" This poem opens up the doors to eternity.

My brother did not attempt suicide. He died of an ulcer in Vietnam, because he fainted and the people that took him back to the hotel did not take him to the hospital. They left him there for 13 hours.

I dreamt of him already 3 times. Just two days ago he touched me. I was at work, on a Saturday, alone. I felt a breeze, and froze. My heart beat accelerated.I felt a presence. Actually, more than one. I felt another world around me.As if I only then realized for the first time that what we see is not necessarily all there is. We are not gifted with that power, to see beyond. I opened my hands, almost in a trance, and felt a strong energy within them, to the point that they where moved. I saw the inside of my hands move inwards. I felt some kind of energy pushing. I felt it was Riccardo, my brother, my angel. I am not particularly religious, and have never believed in anything like this.

All I know is that I love Riccardo, I miss him, and hope he is up there, and he is truly happily living.

Valentina Hall