Mom's Presence

My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1992 when I was only 12 years old. She was an inspiration to all around her and even though she was sick, you would never know it by looking at her. She fought a good battle and lived as normal a life as one can live when dependent upon pills and chemotherapy for survival. We live near a Rectory and one Sunday our family took a road trip to see its beauty and stained glass windows. It was so odd because a couple of the angels depicted in the windows looked just like my mom, and I was not the only one who noticed. That day was not ever mentioned again. Four years after diagnosis, the cancer spread to her brain and she was given only 2 weeks to live.

She died 9 days later at the way too young age of 34, but in those last nine days I spent every moment that I could with her. We talked about many things and one thing that she said right before she slipped into a coma was that if I ever wanted to feel close to her not to visit her grave because she wouldn't be there, instead she told me to go back to that rectory and look at those stained glass windows. My mom died while holding my hand and it was (ironically) one of the most beautiful moments of my life, because you could almost feel God come into the room and take her with Him.

A few hours later, I was sitting at the bay window at my Grandparent's house by myself feeling very sad and lonely. I looked out that big window and I saw my mom floating in the night and she was immersed in light and as beautiful as I have ever seen her. She had her long, blonde hair back (pre-chemotherapy) and she winked at me to let me know that she was safe and where she belonged. My mom was an angel all along and God lent her to us for a short time, but long enough to give us the gifts of faith in God, belief in unconditional love, and the knowledge of real beauty. Nine years later, I still feel my mom's presence whenever I need a hug, support, or someone to share an unbelievable moment. I felt her and dreamed her, but she has only appeared to me once.

Evansville, IN